Legal pendulums swing from one end of the spectrum to the other on a consistent basis, few more so than what occurs in the family court system.   

Throughout the 1960’s, women fought to get laws passed to protect women against domestic violence. After many years, the legal structure of our nation began to recognize women as victims of domestic violence. Laws were passed and enforced to protect “true victims.” Many women lived through domestic violence; many died. Some of the abusers went to jail for homicide; some were later pardoned. Regardless, women got society to recognize the truth with respect to violence against women. 

Now the pendulum has shifted.  Many women now use these laws to their advantage in family courts to bring men to their knees; and to erase fathers from the lives of their children.  To do so, women utilize tactics such as false allegations of child abuse, domestic violence, and stalking, which judges almost never question for fear of being politically incorrect. 

Women who feel justified in punishing men use these false charges indiscriminately. The unfortunate side effect here is that children are forgotten, and have become our newest victims with full cooperation from our Family Court system. Lest we forget, children need fathers too. A recent US Department of Education study, “Fathers Involved in Their Children’s Education,” will bear out these truths. 

Another facet of this issue is the education of women with respect to the legal system.  A new study purports women are filing 70% of divorces today. The important thing to consider here is that the individual filing is the party that usually wins.  The unfortunate person against whom false allegations are charged must prove their innocence while a plaintiff proves nothing. 

Consider this: an innocent father involved in a nasty contested divorce from a woman who vows vengeance is helpless in Family Court. Important child support laws enacted are now strictly, and sometimes unfairly, enforced. There are stories of fathers who lost their jobs from downsizing and/or circumstances beyond their control. When the mother of his children insists on back child support, he is thrown into jail. Child support is based on his “earning ability.” Debtor’s prison has become our most recent politically correct means to control men. Here again, our Family Courts condone whatever women allege, accuse, and dictate to control men. 

Should a husband make the mistake of remarrying, further angering his ex-wife, a second wife’s income is used as “a way to show ability to pay.” The mother of their children, on the other hand, can marry another man. The “other man’s” income is never used to lower child support. Court’s rationale - “they are not his children, not his responsibility.” Since when did a mother bear no responsibility for her children? Today’s women are earning more, and are becoming a majority in our workforce. The stay at home mom of the 50’s rarely exists today. 

False allegations of child abuse by a vengeful ex-wife devastates not only children, but fathers. The wife files first to take advantage of all laws passed to protect true victims of abuse and violence. The wife charges everything from domestic violence to stalking to child abuse. Courts almost always believe a woman over a man today. 

Despite what one may believe, Family Courts across the nation consistently believe, “the mother always makes the best parent.” 

A large number of children are ordered to see a child psychologist when divorce is filed. Counselors and psychologists are encouraged by our system to give bad reports against a father. Fathers are automatically presumed capable of abuse before any mother. 

Mothers are intentionally denying visitation to loving, child support paying fathers, who then spend money and time in court trying to get visitation enforced.  

Divorce is a reality. It is currently a billion dollar a year business. Contested divorce is guerilla warfare whether people want to acknowledge it or not. Everyone wants fuzzy warm answers to harsh reality. Unfortunately, there are none unless we all recognize the gender bias against males perpetuated in Family Court today, and the undeniable damage it does to our children. 

Years ago women had a disadvantage in our domestic courts. Now they can feel quite happy knowing most women win. They can manipulate child support into “backdoor alimony,” deprive their children of their fathers, and ruin their husband. Truth no longer exists in our legal system. 

Women  have come a long way. Women can be proud of the laws they fought hard for 30+ years ago. However, women must stop abusing these laws, or one day the legal pendulum will swing back and our true victims will not be believed again. 

Let’s remember that it is children, not women, who are the real victims of the gender bias in our family courts.

 What are your thoughts?  Does gender bias exist in our family courts?  If so, who does the law favor in your opinion?

Until we speak again, 

“The Inner Chick”